alaina browne lives here

I feel good

Dear James Brown,

It's been a long time since we last saw each other, which means I'm more than ready to get on the good foot. See you next Tuesday night!

I feel good!
Alaina

Think, people!

Dear People Standing in the Longest Taxi Stand Line Ever,

SUCKAHS!!!!

Love,
Alaina

the weather

Dear NYC,

The amazing weather in the last couple of days? You can thank me for that. I inadvertently packed all the crappy weather in my weekend bag and took it with me to North Carolina. Damn it.

You're welcome,
Alaina

Is that a carcass in your bag

Dear Airport Security X-Ray Machine Operator,

Thank you for not drawing attention to the giant frozen turkey breast (Thanks, Mom!) packed in my weekend bag.

Thankfully,
Alaina

leave'em dead

Dear Internet,

Please let the dead memes die.

love,
alaina

All I needed was a little sunshine

Dear Spring,

Thank you for acting like yourself this weekend. My faith has been renewed.

Love,
Alaina

letters

Dear Jeff Bezos,

Why don't you just go ahead and take all my money. And while we're visiting the Internet of Yesteryear, do you think you could make Kozmo.com come back?

love,
alaina

Dear Internet,

Please stop the insanity! And while you're at it, do you think you could make Kozmo.com come back? Pretty please?

love,
alaina

letters

Dear Summer,

You and your hot muggy self can go on and git now.

Love,
alaina

Dear Fall,

I miss you and sweaters and perfect running weather. Please come visit soon! I am saving hugs and kisses for you.

Love,
alaina

To Whom It May Concern:

Hurry up and deliver the good news so I can breathe already!

. . . .

Pretty please?

Fondly,
alaina

Dear Jesus,

Please destroy fantasy football.

Sincerely,
alaina